Me- rror

Life is like a mirror, we get the best results when we smile at it.” Life is like a mirror reflecting your feelings, your actions and your thoughts. The idea is that everything you experience in life is a reflection of yourself. #mirrorshot #life #reflection #growing #experience

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TOUGH by Mam Aj

Sorry i am TOUGH …
I am tough because i want you to learn …
but i love you …
I am tough because i do not want you to see me weak …
I am tough because i want you to be strong despite of all humiliations and discrimination you will experience along your way …
I am tough because i want you to be brave to take all the challenges despite of your impairments and shortcomings
I am Tough does not mean i hate you as you are…
I am tough because i want you to be molded as toughest as i can be ….

I Am What I Am

Think Over

We  always ask why?
 Think over
● At 20 years “foreign country” and “hometown” is the same. (No matter where you are, you can always adapt) 
● At 30 years, “night time” and “daytime” is the same. (A few days of no sleep, does not matter) 
● At 40 years, “highly educated” and  “lowly educated” is the same. (Lowly educated persons, may even earn more money) 
● At 50 years, “beauty” and “ugly” is the same. (No matter how pretty you are, at this age, wrinkles, dark spots, etc. start to appear.) 
● At 60 years, “high official” and “low official” are the same. (After retirement, their status are the same)
● At 70 years, “big house” and “small house” is the same. (Joints degeneration,  cannot walk, only require a little space .)
● At 80 years, “have money” and “no money” is the same. (Even when you spend money, you won’t be able to spend much) 
● At 90 years old, being “man” and “woman” is the same. 
● At 100 years, “Sleeping” and “waking up” is the same. (After you wake up, you still don’t know what to do) 
Take life easy, there are no mysteries to be solved. 

In the long run, we’ll all be the same.

#BeBraveAj

I believe that if i jump from the start i am able to reach the goal and dream i am longing for but because of fears, doubts, inferiorities, insecurities i hold back …

But now i realized and learned that showing braveness eventhough you are not will not make any difference if you are really a brave one or not.

Just Combine the trust to yourself and to God you will be brave ….

Do I have to forgive?

The bible answer :

Forgiveness is the act of pardoning an offender. In the Bible, the Greek word translated “forgiveness” literally means “to let go,” as when a person does not demand payment for a debt. Jesus used this comparison when he taught his followers to pray: “Forgive us our sins, for we ourselves also forgive everyone who is in debt to us.” (Luke 11:4) Likewise, in his parable of the unmerciful slave, Jesus equated forgiveness with canceling a debt.—Matthew 18:23-35.

We forgive others when we let go of resentment and give up any claim to be compensated for the hurt or loss we have suffered. The Bible teaches that unselfish love is the basis for true forgiveness, since love “does not keep account of the injury.”—1 Corinthians 13:4, 5.

Motherhood… How to become a good mother when you are a Single mom?

Wew!

I am having a hard time to write something about a mother. I do not know where do i begin? Even though i am already a mother .. a mother of two. I look for the definition of a mother in dictionary, it only define as a female parent of a child, women are mothers. And motherhood is a state of being a mother. As simple as that.

But when i tried to look back and throw back the time when i had a baby. The first one was a miserable story that until now i could not forgive myself. I lost my first baby boy. If he will be alive he is now 18 years old. While writing this my eyes are in tears. I felt sorry for i was not able to fight for his life. I was not able to give him a chance to live. I hope he is in heaven. I hope he is an angel. I hope and pray that he forgave me already. I am sorry my son! i never forget you.

After a year i got pregnant again. This time, i took good care so much. I ate what she desired, i did what she desired… yes, it was SHE it was a baby girl. I wanted her to be healthy so i did not stressed out myself, i wore make up every day, i watched Rosalinda tv series.. Rosalinda was Thalia of Mexican drama, the lead role also of MArimar tv series. I watched Louise and Clark: Superman. I wanted to see those twp beautiful ladies.

Then, the time she was going to be born, It was very painful..very very painful that i wanted to shout out loud, but i controlled my mouth. Then, she was not able to came out on my vagina. The OB gyne decided to do the cesarean operation. When i heard her voice i smiled and i started to close my eyes and got sleep. I finally saw her in the morning. My eyes were on tears seeing her. She was an angel .. really look like an angel literally, her hair were curly, she was look like very much her father. That was one of the happiest feeling i have ever had. I stopped working because i wanted to be on guard of her, hands on in baby sitting. I knew her father could provide enough for her needs.

When she was 7 months, i got pregnant again. It was a bad timing to have a baby again at that early stage of Louise growing up days. I was so exhausted and stressed out. I had a bad trimester of pregnancy. I was abnormal literally, i vomit every time i smell bad, so irritated when Louise wanted me to carry her. Financially we became unstable. I always went to the OB-gyne because of my sensitive pregnancy. I was not capable of taking good care of Louise. I could not eat well, i could not sleep well. So, he adapt all the stress, all the irritation, all the pains… 1 week before my due date, he was not moving anymore but his heartbeat too fast that i was not able to count. So, the Doctor decided to have a cesarean operation again. According to their father story, the doctor asked him to choose among us he wanted to live. He chose both of us. But the doctor insisted that he should choose only one. He chose me because he knew he could make another one. But my story was heartwarming, i prayed to God that “Please Lord if he will be a baby boy, i will not get pregnant again and make him live”. It was a miracle that we both live. But before he was declared alive he was not crying, he was not moving, but when they tapped him many times, he finally cried and i heard it, I asked them what was my baby they said it was a baby boy. My eyes teared. I uttered thank you Lord you hear my prayer. Since he was lack of 1 week to complete the 9 months. According to them it was really a miracle because no child live on that stage. He was put in incubator and suck him on his nose so that he was able to breath. They put an oxygen also to him because he was lack of oxygen. I already checked out from the hospital but he was still confined. I always went to nursery to breast fed him. But his condition was not normal so they decided us to go to heart specialist because they heard a murmur in his heart.