Deserve to LOVE

You deserve Love ๐Ÿ˜

We are just humans and as humans, we tend to dream and fantasize about that perfectly created human that is going to be our forever person. We are dreaming about the way we will meet them and how everything will have a fairytale stories.

In the search of that special person, we end up meeting and kissing different frogs that dress up like prince charming. In this generation, those frogs appear on dating sites, through DMโ€™s on Instagram, through PM’s on Messenger, some of them on little coffee shops and others in work. There are plenty guys out there and we think that one of them could be the one God has chosen for us.

When things fail, and donโ€™t work the way we planned, we end up home alone, feeling miserable with our sleeping pajamas, we eat a lot while listening to music and watching tv that makes us more sad, and we ask God every night why did He let those things happen.

Iโ€™ve gone through that uncountable times, heartbreak after heartbreak I turn to God, complaining with Him and getting mad, but later I realize that He was protecting me from something bigger.

I constantly wonder and pray to Him about my soecial person. I wonder what he looks like or if I already know him and are we friends right now, but then reality hits me and I realize that Iโ€™m single, not miserable or lonely, just single.

Life is not like the movies, that you accidentally meet someone on the street, you meet on dating sites, or in any social media and you fall in love after exchanging some words. Love doesnโ€™t start after he buys you coffee and leaves his phone number to you. Love is not all about sex either.

Sometimes I feel so tired and hopeless. But I decided not to look for and just enjoy every friendship I have. Enjoy every minute being single mom, focusing on what is good for the three of us.

When people keep on asking why not get married again.. why not look for your forever (Gosh! Guys it is not that easy). You are not getting any younger (i know). People also said maybe you still love your ex hubby (my love for him will never change that is the love i have for him because that is for him. Who am i not to dream to have a complete family). I made a decision to let God move, just let me feel how to be loved and to love again.

I know waiting is difficult, especially with all the romantic stuff we see on social media, TV shows and movies. We hear stories about how our friends have found the one in random situations and we ask God, why we canโ€™t find that person?

But all we have to do is be patient, walk our own journey in order to reach our goals and maybe there, when we least expect it, God will move everything to make us find the one our soul had been looking for. Itโ€™s all about His time.

Godโ€™s timing is perfect, he let me be for Himself for a long time and made our relationship deeper and stronger. I know he wanted me to be happy. Unexplainable things are happening even google and science could not explain. You never expected once you are just the best friends in town, bullied to each other, and now being both happy everyday …. the friendship that level up …. no spoiling just being happy … we just fall in love again. It’s magic!

Mam Aj ๐Ÿ˜

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Happiness define in many ways…

Happiness has a lot of definition…
It can be expensive ..you have to work for it to pay your travel to go around places…
It can be bought … buy things you like; dress, jewelries, best foods in town, gadgets, and everything that you can buy
It can be rewarding … once you receive unexpected prize, awards and the like
It can be whom you with …. if you like the person to enjoy with sometimes it is not about blood relation
It can be unconditional, unexplainable and priceless … happiness when you saw your baby for the first time after gaving birth, seeing them grow… some bonuses when they have awards in school…
It can be a choice … avoid stress, let people hated you (that is life you cannot please everybody)…
It can be through faith .. live with God ๐Ÿ˜

Thank you MONDAY ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜˜

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Me- rror

Life is like a mirror, we get the best results when we smile at it.โ€ Life is like a mirror reflecting your feelings, your actions and your thoughts. The idea is that everything you experience in life is a reflection of yourself. #mirrorshot #life #reflection #growing #experience

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TOUGH by Mam Aj

Sorry i am TOUGH …
I am tough because i want you to learn …
but i love you …
I am tough because i do not want you to see me weak …
I am tough because i want you to be strong despite of all humiliations and discrimination you will experience along your way …
I am tough because i want you to be brave to take all the challenges despite of your impairments and shortcomings
I am Tough does not mean i hate you as you are…
I am tough because i want you to be molded as toughest as i can be ….

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Think Over

We  always ask why?
 Think over
โ— At 20 years “foreign country” and “hometown” is the same. (No matter where you are, you can always adapt) 
โ— At 30 years, “night time” and “daytime” is the same. (A few days of no sleep, does not matter) 
โ— At 40 years, “highly educated” and  “lowly educated” is the same. (Lowly educated persons, may even earn more money) 
โ— At 50 years, “beauty” and “ugly” is the same. (No matter how pretty you are, at this age, wrinkles, dark spots, etc. start to appear.) 
โ— At 60 years, “high official” and “low official” are the same. (After retirement, their status are the same)
โ— At 70 years, “big house” and “small house” is the same. (Joints degeneration,  cannot walk, only require a little space .)
โ— At 80 years, “have money” and “no money” is the same. (Even when you spend money, you won’t be able to spend much) 
โ— At 90 years old, being “man” and “woman” is the same. 
โ— At 100 years, “Sleeping” and “waking up” is the same. (After you wake up, you still don’t know what to do) 
Take life easy, there are no mysteries to be solved. 

In the long run, we’ll all be the same.

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#BeBraveAj

I believe that if i jump from the start i am able to reach the goal and dream i am longing for but because of fears, doubts, inferiorities, insecurities i hold back …

But now i realized and learned that showing braveness eventhough you are not will not make any difference if you are really a brave one or not.

Just Combine the trust to yourself and to God you will be brave ….

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Do I have to forgive?

The bible answer :

Forgiveness is the act of pardoning an offender. In the Bible, the Greek word translated โ€œforgivenessโ€ literally means โ€œto let go,โ€ as when a person does not demand payment for a debt. Jesus used this comparison when he taught his followers to pray: โ€œForgive us our sins, for we ourselves also forgive everyone who is in debt to us.โ€ (Luke 11:4) Likewise, in his parable of the unmerciful slave, Jesus equated forgiveness with canceling a debt.โ€”Matthew 18:23-35.

We forgive others when we let go of resentment and give up any claim to be compensated for the hurt or loss we have suffered. The Bible teaches that unselfish love is the basis for true forgiveness, since love โ€œdoes not keep account of the injury.โ€โ€”1 Corinthians 13:4, 5.

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Motherhood… How to become a good mother when you are a Single mom?

Wew!

I am having a hard time to write something about a mother. I do not know where do i begin? Even though i am already a mother .. a mother of two. I look for the definition of a mother in dictionary, it only define as a female parent of a child, women are mothers. And motherhood is a state of being a mother. As simple as that.

But when i tried to look back and throw back the time when i had a baby. The first one was a miserable story that until now i could not forgive myself. I lost my first baby boy. If he will be alive he is now 18 years old. While writing this my eyes are in tears. I felt sorry for i was not able to fight for his life. I was not able to give him a chance to live. I hope he is in heaven. I hope he is an angel. I hope and pray that he forgave me already. I am sorry my son! i never forget you.

After a year i got pregnant again. This time, i took good care so much. I ate what she desired, i did what she desired… yes, it was SHE it was a baby girl. I wanted her to be healthy so i did not stressed out myself, i wore make up every day, i watched Rosalinda tv series.. Rosalinda was Thalia of Mexican drama, the lead role also of MArimar tv series. I watched Louise and Clark: Superman. I wanted to see those twp beautiful ladies.

Then, the time she was going to be born, It was very painful..very very painful that i wanted to shout out loud, but i controlled my mouth. Then, she was not able to came out on my vagina. The OB gyne decided to do the cesarean operation. When i heard her voice i smiled and i started to close my eyes and got sleep. I finally saw her in the morning. My eyes were on tears seeing her. She was an angel .. really look like an angel literally, her hair were curly, she was look like very much her father. That was one of the happiest feeling i have ever had. I stopped working because i wanted to be on guard of her, hands on in baby sitting. I knew her father could provide enough for her needs.

When she was 7 months, i got pregnant again. It was a bad timing to have a baby again at that early stage of Louise growing up days. I was so exhausted and stressed out. I had a bad trimester of pregnancy. I was abnormal literally, i vomit every time i smell bad, so irritated when Louise wanted me to carry her. Financially we became unstable. I always went to the OB-gyne because of my sensitive pregnancy. I was not capable of taking good care of Louise. I could not eat well, i could not sleep well. So, he adapt all the stress, all the irritation, all the pains… 1 week before my due date, he was not moving anymore but his heartbeat too fast that i was not able to count. So, the Doctor decided to have a cesarean operation again. According to their father story, the doctor asked him to choose among us he wanted to live. He chose both of us. But the doctor insisted that he should choose only one. He chose me because he knew he could make another one. But my story was heartwarming, i prayed to God that “Please Lord if he will be a baby boy, i will not get pregnant again and make him live”. It was a miracle that we both live. But before he was declared alive he was not crying, he was not moving, but when they tapped him many times, he finally cried and i heard it, I asked them what was my baby they said it was a baby boy. My eyes teared. I uttered thank you Lord you hear my prayer. Since he was lack of 1 week to complete the 9 months. According to them it was really a miracle because no child live on that stage. He was put in incubator and suck him on his nose so that he was able to breath. They put an oxygen also to him because he was lack of oxygen. I already checked out from the hospital but he was still confined. I always went to nursery to breast fed him. But his condition was not normal so they decided us to go to heart specialist because they heard a murmur in his heart.

When they both came untimely, unplanned.. financially unstable getting worst, we fight all the time .. many things are arguable … we do not understand each other anymore. Until i decided to go back to work despite of his resistance, i still insisted because i told him that he could not make us live , he was not able anymore to give us comfortable life. Until he decided to work abroad. It happened. The first year was okay, but after a year communication lessen and lessen until even the financial support lost like a pop. He never explained anything what was going on, he was just lost, blocked us in facebook. I felt so depressed, i drank a lot. I was lost of pieces. I left my kids to my parents in Pampanga.

To forget everything i went back to school, i pursue education. To make the story short i became a teacher, to have a totally change life. I moved to Pampanga with my kids. I started to focus on my kids and became a single mom since then. Until now he never showed. But we had a better life now than before. We have our house. I send them to school and buy things they need and sometimes buy things they want. We are able now to go to the mall, watch movies, travel from town to town.

Single mom is not that easy, it takes a lot of bravery and strength to surpass all the challenges. It takes a lot of patience to explain to your kids that it is happening and it can happen to anyone. It takes a lot of courage to face all those struggles and pains along the way.

Single mom is a hero for me. To give all her time for the kids. Unselfish and unconditional love was superb. I am proud that i made survived those miserable life. In time we will meet and i am ready to face him and say Thank you for abandoning us because i learned to stand and slap to his face i am more responsible than yours. Be happy with your life because we are happier since the day you left us.

 

 

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The Power of Green Tea

Wow! I know there are many home remedies or DIYs to prevent urinary tract infection.  But I’m just so pleased to read ๐Ÿ“– that drinking green tea ๐Ÿต daily is one of them. ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘

#thewondersofgreentea

A healthy reminder from your Mam Aj

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How Often Should you Exfoliate?

It’s not really just about being pretty.  It’s about the benefits of having healthy skin. ๐Ÿ™‚

A healthy reminder from your Mam Aj

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